This week's installment of the Yoga Living Project comes from Jenn Sewell, 2021 Cambio YTT graduate and new teacher, sharing how some of her yoga on the mat made profound impacts off the mat and in her day to day experience. She highlights a process of how to shape your own reality and use the tools of yoga to make specific changes you want to see in your life.
Catch Jenn's Vinyasa, Saturday 7a at Cambio Pikes Peak, and subbing throughout the week!
I was never good at sports in school. Or dancing. Or coordination in general, though I did try. I once broke my ankle warming up for volleyball practice- and I only had about a 5” vertical jump. I think that’s why I enjoyed yoga so much when I first started with a VHS waaaay back. The style of movements at my own pace helped me feel connected to and good in my body. A few years ago, my practice changed with the start of my sobriety journey. I was getting on my mat almost daily and I realized my thoughts were changing. I felt like I was learning life lessons with Warrior II and Crow and Revolved Triangle and Savasana. The learning fascinated me. So, fast-forward a bit to early Spring 2021. We were preparing to move from Hawaii, where we were established with a great, alternative-style school for the kids, familiar surroundings, and a safe feeling area. But now everything would change. What would schools be like? Would my kids really struggle? Would our soon-to-be-college freshman be able to handle the additional challenges? Would we find friends? Would my mom still be happy living with us? All normal questions that come with a big change in location, right? But my mind didn’t stop there. Oh no, I’m a catastrophizer of extraordinary skill. Would my youngest be kidnapped walking to school? Would my oldest be tricked into sex-trafficking? Would my mom experience some catastrophic injury or wreck in a strange place, and I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye? You get the idea. I was experiencing panic attacks and struggling to breathe when one of my kiddos or my mom was out of my sight or didn’t answer texts quickly. I knew I didn’t want to stay in that state of mind. It was miserable. I was still practicing yoga nearly every day and a thought occurred to me. On my 39th birthday I decided it would be the year to start my handstand journey. Like I said earlier, I’ve never been very athletic, so gymnastics and flips and all those things have always really scared me. Would I fall like a tree, break my neck or back, and ruin my family’s lives forever? But I was determined to change what was happening in my head and heart and yoga had taught me the value of connecting physical movement to my thoughts. I started pretty cluelessly and was thrilled just to get my feet above my head and braced against the wall that first day. I spent a lot of time asking questions, watching tutorials, practicing, watching more tutorials, asking more questions, and practicing, practicing, practicing. A couple weeks away from 40 now, I have been able to hold a handstand for a few seconds at a time. Sometimes those feel like delightful strokes of luck, and other times like victories. I still can’t predictably hold that handstand, but I HAVE learned a ton along the way, about handstands, but more importantly about how to face fear.
To sum it all up, I don’t feel trapped against the wall anymore. I can step out into the middle of the room, plant my hands, and give it a go. I can laugh when I topple, or squeal (some of you may have heard that in the studio). I can jump up and down, and squeal, when I find a few moments of balance. It really has been a powerful way to understand my fears and anxieties. I see my family with a wonderful sense of freedom now. The lightness inside my head and heart… y’all, it feels miraculous when I remember what things used to be like. I’m not sure what the next learning process will be. I’m not in a rush to find it. I’m letting these lessons sink in. I’m letting the joy grow. I’m watching my family live. I wouldn’t have chosen to have such a deep relationship with fear and anxiety but the choices I DID make were good ones. I’m beyond grateful for the journey.
Yoga is a way of life and should be accessible to all.
Community is important. Everyone is a valuable member and we are here to serve our community.
Everyone is perfect just as they are. Everyone has their own path and is at a different point in life.
From physical abilities to beliefs, everyone is at the right place at the right time.