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Welcome back guest author and cambio. Yoga teacher, Halle Thornton, with a post that highlights self-care in her life with beautiful authenticity. Know that this share references eating disorders so please read at your own discretion. If you have a story you'd like to share, please do so by emailing This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

 

Self-Care is the Best Care

For the longest time, I hated looking at myself in the mirror. My face was too fat, my arms were too big. Baggy shirts were the normal, and I refused to let anyone take my picture. In all honesty, I hated myself.

I would skip meals, eating as little as I could, hoping it would get me through the 4 mile run I did each day to help keep my weight down.

I was miserable. I didn’t know how much longer I could go on like that, knowing day after day would be a struggle, would be worse than the last.

I was on a treadmill, literally and figuratively. Never pressing pause to catch my breath, never giving myself a change to recover.

Sooner after I found out none of it was my fault. I was special, but not in the good way. I couldn’t change the way my body was because I was sick. It was out of my control.

In health care, self-care is defined as “any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated.”

Necessary. I needed self-care to live, because I was slowly dying.

Self-care was never even a fleeting thought. Taking a day off from working out was laughable; if I did that, i would gain back that pound I kept off. It was an unthinkable idea. I cared more about what I looked like on the outside than what was happening on the inside. I didn’t care that my body was slowly deteriorating.

I started to change.

Slowly but surely, I started eating regularly, stared living without the negativity and hate I had for myself.

A year later I am still struggling with self-image. Sometimes I look back and cry because I was so hard on myself, hard on my body, hard on my soul.

Yoga is my self-care. No matter what I am feeling, whether it’s self-doubt, sadness, negativity, yoga makes those things disappear. The mat is my reminder to stay grounded, to stay humble, and to stay grateful. For an hour or so, I am content. I am happy.

Self-care comes in many forms, whether it is going for a walk may yourself, getting together with friends, or reading a book. Whatever it is though, it is more important than anything.

Every day I have to remind myself to take care of my body, because it’s the only one I have, and I have big plans for the future. I run because I want to, not because I have to. I climb to the highest peaks in Colorado because it brings me a sense of accomplishment, not because I need to.

Treat yourself, take care of yourself, because your self is the only thing that’s truly yours.

Self-love the is the best love.

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